Life of Survival

Four decades of a long freeze, now finding my way back to the surface.

The Great Freeze

Long story short, I have been frozen for more than 50 years in what is referred to as a functional freeze or, more properly, a Dorsal Vagal Shutdown. Operating in survival mode, my nervous system pulled the ultimate emergency brake, keeping me moving through the daily motions of life while feeling fundamentally disconnected from it. For decades, I was essentially living in a shadowed life — numb, detached, mostly alone, and conserving energy just to get by. But now, the ice is finally starting to melt.

Now at 64, I am actually undergoing a combination ASD-ADHD assessment. Being an undiagnosed nonbinary individual, it has been part of a realization, where I have gained a greater understanding of my issues, and they are staggering. Indeed, things that have laid dormant and frozen, but now we have a plan for therapy that will allow me to start my life as I turn 65 next year. No matter how bitter that thought may seem, I still have a lot of hope for my future.

My name is now Karma, and I am consciously stepping out of that deep freeze, reconnecting with the world around me, and intentionally building a life and a community that thrives on genuine connection and creation rather than just survival.

Who knows... Maybe you and I will become friends on this journey... 🥰

I hope that you will follow along if you find my story interesting.
Mx Karma

Follow the Steps in My Journey

1. The Science of Shutdown

Understanding the Polyvagal Theory, the dorsal vagal response, and why the body chooses to freeze.

2. Beneath the Ice

Reflections on what it actually felt like to live and operate in a functional freeze for four decades.

3.The Thaw

The catalysts, realizations, and somatic practices that began the process of melting the ice.

4. Beyond Survival

Stepping out of isolation and building a life centered on genuine connection and creation.